I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
