Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
