i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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