his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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