I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
