Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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