His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize