Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize