drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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