Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
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we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
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And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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