How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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