Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
