I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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