Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize