...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
