Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
