Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
