I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
