your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
