He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
