I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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