Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
