Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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