It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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