You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
