How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
