hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
