I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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