How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You can't special order awesome
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
