The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
