i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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