Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
