I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
