Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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