i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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