I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
