I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
