if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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