I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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