I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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