So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize