Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
