honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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