I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
