Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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