You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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