Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
