Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
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And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
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I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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