Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
