so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
