you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
