I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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