Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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