Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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