you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Floor bacon is actually really good
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
