READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
