I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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